Table of Contents
S No.
132
do not index
do not index
ready to publish
ready to publish
backlinks
content score ss
# of words
publish date
Apr 6, 2023
This blog is an excerpt from our mini-therapy on this discomfort.
what is a discomfort?
Discomfort is anything that could be stopping you from achieving what you really want to achieve. Any feeling or issue that you’re currently struggling with.
what is a mini-therapy?
A mini-therapy is hyper-personalized, bite-sized content delivered via an immersive and interactive therapy experience on the ‘being’ app. It’s designed by experienced mental health professionals and helps you work through a discomfort by using therapeutic interventions that they would use in in-person therapy.
Note: For the most optimal experience, try the mini-therapy on the ‘being’ app :’)
the excerpt:
Hi there!
Long-distance relationships are challenging, aren’t they? Through no fault of your own, or your partner’s, this external circumstance limits how you can show up in the relationship.
I respect your acknowledgment of the fact that you may not be able to fulfill all of your partner’s needs. Long-distance or not, it is not possible for one person to be everything to their partner.
I wonder… what are the unmet needs in your relationship? And not just your partner’s, but yours, too.
Let’s spend some time exploring this.
Guided Journaling Tool
Prompt: What are some of your partner’s needs that are not being met in the relationship? And is this something they’ve mentioned? If not, what makes you feel these are unmet needs?
Prompt: How do you think distance contributes to these unmet needs?
Prompt: What else do you think could be contributing to these needs being unmet?
Sometimes, we become overly concerned about our partner, and overlook our own needs. A relationship, though, is like a venn diagram… two circles that intersect with each other, forming a small overlapping section. The relationship is the overlapping section, but at the same time, it can’t exist without two whole circles.
So, let's talk about you…
Guided Journaling Tool
Prompt: What are some of your needs that are currently not being met in the relationship?
Prompt: How do you think the distance contributes to these unmet needs?
Prompt: What else could contribute to these needs being unmet?
You also mention being afraid that your partner will bond with someone else and you’ll lose them. That’s a difficult feeling to experience in a relationship.
We often fear things that have happened to us in the past, or things we’ve witnessed someone else go through. I wonder if you’ve experienced something in your past that might make you feel this way.
Sometimes, these fears also come from the relationship itself. Might there be some sense of distance from your partner already that’s fueling this?
Reflecting on where our fears come from can help us become more aware, and make mindful decisions. Once you understand your thoughts and feelings, you can communicate these to your partner, and together, sail this relation-ship.
One framework to make mindful decisions about your relationship is to work backward from your relationship goals. So, why don’t you grab a pen and paper, and let's break this down together?
At the top of this sheet of paper, write down your relationship goals. Let's divide it into two columns. Write your name in one column, and your partner’s in the other.
Now, write down what you need to do to meet your relationship goal. And then, write down what you think your partner needs to do in order to meet your relationship goal.
You don’t have to finish this right now. Do it in your own time, and when you’re done, share it with your partner, and ask them to do the same activity with you.
This activity will help the two of you have difficult conversations, and understand each other’s needs and expectations. From there, you can start working on ways together to meet your goals.
Now, all this relationship stuff can be very difficult. You may need multiple conversations with yourself and your partner to figure out what your relationship needs. And the work doesn’t really stop. You know… it’s like tending to a garden.
You don’t just plant the seeds and leave them there, do you? You have to water it every day, till the soil, add manure and nutrients, and make sure your garden gets enough sunlight. And this garden needs two caretakers - you and your partner.
As you do this work, you might have difficult periods of overwhelm. I want to leave you with a visualization you can practice in moments like that.
Let’s do it together.
Visualization Tool
Close your eyes and imagine you’re sitting in your happy place. This could be a real physical place you’ve been to before or a fictional place that makes you feel calm and centered.
You’re alone here.
You’re relaxed here.
Soak this image in - what do you see around you? What do you hear? What can you smell, touch and taste?
Give yourself a gentle smile, and feel this sense of peace fill your body. In this moment, you’re whole.
Take a deep breath in, allowing this sense of peace to grow, and exhale, letting yourself relax.
Slowly open your eyes.
When we feel afraid, insecure, or unsure about a relationship, we can easily become unattuned to our own selves. Whenever you find yourself feeling confused about a decision, about where your boundaries lie, how much you can give, and how much you can receive, visualize yourself being whole, happy, and satisfied in your safe space.
Acting from this place of wholeness, try to nurture your relationship in a way that enriches your inner peace and happiness, not take away from it.
I hope this mini-therapy helped. You can always return here to reflect more.
Take care and just be! 💜