5 Warning Signs of Depression in Men

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Apr 21, 2022

✨POV✨: You're worried about someone in your life. They're acting unlike themselves and they're not ones to ask for help. Is it depression?

Depression is a sneaky little thing. We never know what someone is going through from the outside. We may notice shifts in that person's behavior, body language, and reactions. But who knows why those changes are setting in?

💭 Are the changes deliberate?

💭 Are the changes desperate ways to feel sane?

💭 Are the changes a facade to hide from the people the crumbling inside?

💭 Are the changes a way to escape themselves? Thinking, ‘I feel scared to be alone with my thoughts’?

And assuming it's for the worst or best can prove to be either inconsequential, harmful, or wasteful. And because the stakes of mental illnesses like clinical depression are high, assuming why someone is being unlike them should be entirely ruled out.

The stakes of untreated depression can be physical symptoms, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or suicide. There's a whole range, but with such high risk, it makes the most sense for us to check in more often than not in case we can help them to seek the mental health treatment they need. It is scary but it need not be - it's a simple matter of nipping depression symptoms in the bud.

So the next time we see a loved one act out of character for the worse, look out for these warning signs.

The Genesis of Depression in Men 👨🏼‍🍼

Undiagnosed and untreated depression is rampant when it comes to men. This trend can be understood through the effects of patriarchy on men.

To be a man means (meant for many) to not cry and always be a pillar of strength. It isn't allowed for men to feel weak, or need help or validation. That's the mold patriarchy set for men. It's unfair and takes away a man's liberty to just be human. This pressure to be seen and lauded as being a man is internalized as the only way of being normal. This leads to the repression of emotional discomfort and vulnerability.

When this becomes the case, depression in men isn't reported. Sometimes to avoid stigma and other times, because men themselves shun emotional symptoms until the physical symptoms (like difficulty sleeping, tightness in the chest, headaches, and digestive issues) creep in. This is the reason that severe depression (aka major depressive disorder) is the most common type of depression in men.

The 5 Warning Signs ⚠️

These are common mental health symptoms of depression in men that are a consequence of them not having the space or resources to express themselves openly.

🍷 Risky behavior and substance abuse

😥 Avoiding social gatherings

💻 Overworking

💢 Becoming more controlling and aggressive in relationships

⏱️ Finding it hard to keep up with responsibilities

How to Help ❤️‍🩹

If any of these signs are present and you suspect that they might be dealing with depression, here's how we can help. There are many ways to treat depression like talk therapy, and there's also so much that we can do to help in this process.

🫂 Ask, ask, ask: check in and remind them that it's okay to not feel okay.

🤝 Offer help: in finding them a therapist or accompanying them to their first session.

🩹 Recommend mini-therapies: as a way of coping when they're experiencing uncomfortable emotions.

To know more about you can help someone dealing with depression, click here.

Last Word on Mental Health 🤍

So much of the general depression in men boils down to internalized gender expectations. But that's so last season.

Now is the age of gender fluidity, self-love, and the freedom to express whoever we are. To have thoughts like ‘I want to improve my relationship with myself’. If depression is the consequence of an older time, hope is that this new age brings healing through authenticity.

Note on Mental Disorders 🚩

If you have depressive symptoms or thoughts of self-harm, please use the NIHM (National Institute of Mental Health) national suicide prevention lifeline or contact a mental health professional to seek treatment options for treating depression.