Depression in Men: The New Pandemic?

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Apr 21, 2022

✨POV✨: You call yourself lazy when you're tired without a reason. You beat yourself up over not being able to follow a routine or do as well as you know you can. You are confused about your moods and emotions enough to even stumble upon this blog.

Mental health has only recently garnered the traction that it so obviously deserves. It's health, of course it's important. Don't know why it took us so long to realize this.

Our minds, like other parts of us, also need help every once in a while; and when we don't understand what mental well-being means, we are likely to become vulnerable to mental illnesses like depression and anxiety.

Issues with mental health are as much of a system problem as they are psychological. Our education system focuses on teaching us professional skills that help us navigate the world and flourish in it. But what about honing us - as the individual human being?

🗯️ Being able to answer the questions of our identity

🗯️ Knowing the green and red flags in relationships

🗯️ Finding an internal sense of motivation

🗯️ Honing our self-esteem, self-respect, self-acceptance, and self-love

Where’s the Guidance to Teach Us These Skills of Resilience? 🧑🏽‍🏫

I mean, there is Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) in school, but it is merely the tip of an iceberg. The nuances of being a human being are lost in the cracks of the systems today. We run from achievement to achievement, as though that defines us (reminder: don't believe that it does, no matter how hard the world pushes you to).

There is no ideal life, person, or journey, everything is subjective and relative (and unique). And that is the beauty of being human - we endure life (which sadly isn't fair), evolve into better people, and repeat. That's the memo we haven't taken seriously enough.

When we miss out on these teachings, we become much harder on ourselves. The world rests on our shoulders and a single blunder or shortcoming seems to irreparably tarnish us. That's a load of ignorant drivel.

Why Is It a Pandemic? 🦠

Depression in men may be called a pandemic because it is insidious.

Clinical depression, dubbed a silent killer, is especially true for those of us who don't know how to identify it. Men are one such section of society that faces this brunt.

The patriarchal traditions of our society harm everyone. Stereotypical notions of gender force-fit our individual identities in small little boxes, label them (on a scale of how true we are to our 'gender'), and admonish us when we stray from the norm.

Men, throughout history, have been the breadwinners and protectors. They were to be aggressive, stoic about their vulnerabilities, and focused on ensuring survival (using the means of power). From an evolutionary standpoint, these qualities expected of men have not only aided survival but also propagated patriarchy beyond its need.

Common patterns that are now proving to be unhelpful are: not asking for help, avoiding emotions and their expression, and valuing inanimate resilience. We human beings - of all genders - are fluid beings who are constantly testing the notions of our identity to grow into our best selves (that cannot be classified in a binary worldview).

The inability to express fluidity has added up to the rising number of depression in men all around the world today. This reality also urges us to realize that struggling with mental health issues is not a sign of being weak and instead, is the condition of a human being who is constricted and unaware of healthy coping mechanisms in the face of a challenging life.

Depression in Men 💔

An overview on causes and expression.

Depression in men may look different than it does in women. It is more common for men dealing with depression to express their feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and helplessness as irritability and frustration.

Aggression and substance abuse are also a lot more common in men dealing with depression than in women. A biological theory for this form of expression can be understood through the activity of the testosterone hormone (present at higher levels in men). Having low serotonin levels (our happy hormone) allows testosterone to activate aggression.

Internalized notions of gender (like 'big boys don't cry' and 'man up') continue to add fuel to the fire. These notions force men to continue acting out the caveman who needs to provide for his family by toughing it out or having a tight upper lip.

But as we know, humanity and society have come a long way. For most of us, physical survival is not as unpredictable anymore, with our survival instinct being triggered only in dire situations. Our focus is now on improving ourselves and the quality of our lives, all the while being our unique, chaotic, and vulnerable selves.

We can now take out the time to understand and nurture our mental health, which was not a priority for very long.

The Type of Depression 🔡

Depression in men has a higher chance of remaining undiagnosed and untreated. This tendency of many men to dismiss their symptoms (until they become physical symptoms) increases the likelihood that any untreated depression becomes severe depression (aka major depressive disorder in the DSM) in men. Postpartum Depression in men, which was until recently not considered common, is now coming into the limelight.

And because so many times, depression is not reported by men, the other types of depression are relatively uncommon, at least on paper.

Mental Health Symptoms 🚧

These are some of the common depression symptoms in men:

Difficulty sleeping or sleeping longer than needed

Irritability, frustration, and aggression

Feeling hopeless and helpless

Physical symptoms like headaches, body ache, digestive problems & tightness in the chest

Substance abuse

Social withdrawal

Fatigue, brain fog, and lethargy

Lack of motivation

Escapist behavior and emotional numbness

Risky behavior

How We Can Treat Depression 🩹

Depression may be a trap but isn't one that cannot be escaped. Treating depression is possible with the right resources and guidance.

🤲🏼 Affirmations

One very effective mental health treatment (works even to just boost our mental well-being) is practicing self-love. We all need a pat on the back every once in a while, and why feel morose if others are too busy to give us that? We need to pour into our own cups.

Practicing healthy, nurturing, and encouraging self-talk (the way we speak to/of ourselves in our mind) is an easy way we can help break the tyrannical cycle of patriarchy and conservative gender notions. Tuning in to our inner voice by blocking out the noise of 'what should be', we can discover who we truly are in a loving and patient way.

To read more about self-love and affirmations, click here.

🗣️ Talk Therapy

This is one of the oldest, most trusted, and ever-evolving forms of therapy. Talking it out, ranting, and venting, which are generally common occurrences in friendships, validate the value of getting thoughts off our chest. Just voicing out our concerns has a noticeable enough therapeutic effect.

When this is paired with the expertise of mental health professionals, we get talk therapy. To know more about how talk therapy works, click here.

🤳🏼 Mini-Therapy

Some existing gaps in the talk therapy system (scheduling in advance, expensive therapy costs and availability of good therapists) can be plugged by practicing mini-therapies. Not only that, mini-therapies can also become a healthier coping mechanism in the face of uncomfortable thoughts and emotions.

When we're going through something and ideally would need help or guidance in that moment, we can choose to do a mini-therapy for our specific emotion or discomfort like 'I see my anxiety taking hold of me'. Investing those 5-10 minutes to process our overwhelm in a healthy way keeps us from spiraling.

To know more about mini-therapy, click here.

🏃🏽 Physical Health

Drinking enough water, eating healthy or exercising regularly will not treat our depression, but it will definitely make the healing journey easier.

There is a major connection between our mental and physical health. When our physical health is hit, the changing hormone levels affect our mental energy and health.

When we exercise, our body releases feel good hormones like endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. On the flipside, when we don't have enough physical activity, these hormone levels drop, which affects our mood and ability to handle challenging situations.

Getting the right nutrition and helping our body function better (with enough sleep, optimal hydration and exercise), we help our brain be more alert and capable of taking care of our mind.

To read more about how nutrition boosts our mental health, click here.

Last Word on Mental Health 🤍

Mental health is accompanied by stigma, maybe even more so for men. But this stigma is a residual effect of a crumbling foundation called patriarchy.

That is so last season. It's time for us to up our game and build ourselves a new foundation that gives us wings.

Depression in men may be increasing in numbers, but with increased awareness, acknowledgment and acceptance, we can nip the issue in the bud.

Note on Mental Disorders 🚩

If you have depressive symptoms or thoughts of self-harm, please use the NIHM (National Institute of Mental Health) national suicide prevention lifeline or contact a mental health professional to seek treatment options for treating depression.