Feeling depressed on your birthday? You are not alone. Here's why B-Day can feel like the judgement day

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Apr 14, 2022

✨POV✨: You're one year older. An entire year has passed. It's hitting you now that what is generally an occasion is celebrate is actually making you feel sad.

Birthdays can mean so many different things to different people. Some may be overjoyed at reaching a certain age (like finally becoming an adult and eligible for freedoms not known before) or accomplishing what they set out to last year.

While others may experience symptoms of depression. Birthday depression, as counter-intuitive as it may seem or made out to be, is common and very real.

Birthday and Mental Health? 🔗

Birthday depression is a type of seasonal depression (because the feelings of depression are caused by a specific time of the year) means that you are not feeling happy and celebratory on successfully completing another year in your lifetime.

Instead, you are feeling negative emotions of sadness, regret, or detachment, which may then lead to negative behaviors or coping mechanisms.

There is also a general pressure of feeling happy on your birthday that can feel like a turn-off.

Many people openly and vocally celebrate birthday months and birthday weeks, which also sets a convention of how one is supposed to feel during a birthday.

This can be confusing, disorienting, and disappointing if you're not in the same head-space or have had very different (possibly negative experiences) around your birthday time.

Birthday Depression Symptoms 🚧

Some of the common signs displayed may be a combination of physical and emotional problems:

Mood swings or irritability around your birthday time

Being stuck in the past

Stress about how much time you have left

Low motivation and loss of interest

Crying and experiencing feelings of sadness more than usual

Social withdrawal and isolation

Rejection of plans and disinterest in celebration

Physical symptoms like appetite and sleep changes

Birthday depression affects the day itself and sometime before and after the birthday.

The symptoms mentioned above begin affecting other parts of your life too - academic or work performance, relationships, increased substance use, and a general sense of apathy towards oneself, life, and the world.

Why does it happen? 🧲

Birthday depression can stem and be caused by many different reasons.

🧠 Having depression or anxiety

Dealing with existing mental health conditions increases the chances of experiencing similar symptoms on your birthday because the amount of stimulation and focus on you is much higher than usual.

Suddenly having a spotlight on you with people wanting to reconnect, celebrate with you, or know your feelings can feel draining and over-stimulating.

🎂 Dealing with family pressures or drama about birthdays

If your family or loved ones generally have expectations of how a birthday is celebrated, which may differ from your ideas, it can trigger depression. You may dread the arrival of your birthday and do rituals that you don't want to and have no control over.

It may be very important for a family to buy new clothes for a birthday or have a traditional cake-cutting ceremony.

But if one has body image issues and is forced to buy an outfit to be put in the spotlight all decked up for tons of pictures, it can be nerve-wracking by eliciting intense feelings of consciousness.

⛔ Past negative experiences on birthday

It is normal and common to feel sensitive on one's birthday because you anticipate grand gestures and words of affection from your loved ones.

If, while feeling sensitive, you have had a negative experience like your friends bailing on you because they're busy, losing a loved one, or having a significant setback around that time, it can remove all feelings of excitement from the birthday and instead replace them with regret, sadness, dread or apathy.

⏱️ Fear of getting old or older

Birthday goals can often be overly ambitious and non-attainable in the period, which can feel disappointing when they're not achieved.

An added pressure is the general checklist of milestones that people have for each age and stage of their life. If you don't achieve those - like getting your driving license by 18 or being financially independent by 22 - your confidence and motivation levels can take a major blow.

Birthday depression generally fades with time. But sometimes, it can have a lasting effect on our public life and become a trigger. But as we can mitigate the symptoms of depression, it is also possible to do the same for birthday symptoms of depression. To know more about what you can do, click here.

Please Note: More on Mental Disorders 🚩

Severe Depression (aka clinical depression) is a mental illness that can be of two different types - mild depression and major depression (aka major depressive disorder). Common depression symptoms include prolonged depressed mood, low self-esteem, mood swings, loss of interest, and having trouble focusing. Other physical symptoms include sleep problems, weight gain, excessive sleeping, or difficulty concentrating.

Depression is also often accompanied by a mood disorder or other mental disorders such as seasonal affective disorder, bipolar disorder, or premenstrual dysphoric disorder. If you have such symptoms of depression or thoughts of self-harm, please use the national suicide prevention lifeline or contact a mental health professional to seek treatment options.