How Healthy Relationships Help Beat Symptoms of Depression

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Apr 15, 2022

✨POV✨ : You feel very low lonely. You're overthinking what you said or did during the day. And in walks a friend and gives a long warm hug. They ask you what's wrong and they really want to listen and be there for you.

How do you think that'd feel?

Relationships with our loved ones - family, friends, or partners - have a major impact on our mental health. This impact can be positive or negative based on how healthy and supportive our relationships are.

Having supportive and loving relationships can make a world of a difference to how we cope with life, especially if we are experiencing depression. Depression tries to pit our minds and brains against us, but healthy relationships have the power to soften the blow.

To understand this connection, we need to first know what depression is and what its common symptoms are, which get alleviated by our social contacts.

What is depression? 💔

Depression is like a gloomy cloud that looms over our heads. It makes it seem like life is dull and not worthwhile. And we may understand in words and images that the world is beautiful and full of experiences, but it becomes difficult to internalize it.

We live in our heads far more than in the real world. It's almost like a mirrored bubble - our own thoughts and fears are echo as though they're the voice of the world.

But how is it different from feeling sad once in a while? 🆚

Oh, it is sooo different.

Sadness has a very specific situational trigger - say you didn't perform well in an exam or your parents said something hurtful or you just broke up. These painful situations evoke uncomfortable emotions and maybe, regrettable behavior, but as the trigger situation wanes, our sadness also dissolves.

The triggers of depression tend to cut and wound us deep inside - which means that just because the situation has passed, does not mean our sadness or pain also does. The wound takes longer to heal and until it does, we continue to feel low and show signs of depression.

These are some common signs of depression 🚧

Feeling anxious, hopeless or agitated

Substance abuse

Social isolation and loneliness

Loss of interest

Discontentment

Poor hygiene and lifestyle

Sadness and negative thoughts

Back to our Q: How do relationships help heal depression? 🫂

Abraham Maslow, a renowned American psychologist of the 1950s, ideated that the needs of a human being can be divided into 5 levels.

To reach the highest level (which he called self-actualization when, where our individual needs are met and we peak, we need to have:

🍳 Basic needs

🏡 Safety

👨‍👩‍👧 Belonging

👑 Self-esteem

The third stage is where relationships step in. As human beings, we need connection and companionship. And when we are experiencing depression, we need it more so.

What do healthy relationships look like? 🔍

It’s pretty simple and straightforward. A healthy relationship is based on trust, honesty, vulnerability, and authenticity.

A simple thumb rule here is - how do you feel when you are around that person? If you can be entirely yourself, without having to filter yourself, without being judged, you know that person accepts you.

This in no way means that conflicts don’t exist in healthy relationships - they definitely do. But how the conflict is dealt with is where the difference lies.

Sure, but how does it help? 🩹

When we have healthy relationships, we are surrounded by comfort and acceptance. The storm (read: depression) that brews inside of us or the mirrored bubble that we inhabit, can be popped by the people around us. They help us understand new perspectives of the world which broaden our thinking and foster our connection with the world.

When we’re feeling low about ourselves, they help us with validation and encouragement. Their words remind us that we are loved, worthy and capable.

Having such relationships bump us up to the 4th stage of development - where we build our sense of self and realize that as a part of the world, we have control. This helps us beat existential crises and allow us to explore complete freedom in our minds and actions, all the while being grounded and self-aware.

This is also a double whammy 🥇

Being stuck in our heads can still be helpful to understanding ourselves when we don’t have the support of our relationships at that moment. Practicing a mini-therapy when we are feeling uncomfortable emotions can guide us to process those emotions then-and-there before they become more stressful and overwhelming. To know more about mini-therapies, click here.

Please Note 🚩

Depression (aka clinical depression) is a mental illness that can be of two different types - mild depression (aka persistent depressive disorder) and major depression (aka severe depression or major depressive disorder). Common depression symptoms include prolonged depressed mood, low self-esteem, mood swings, loss of interest, and trouble focusing. Other physical symptoms include sleep problems, weight gain, excessive sleeping, or difficulty concentrating.

Depression is also often accompanied by a mood disorder or other mental disorders such as seasonal affective disorder, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, bipolar disorder, or premenstrual dysphoric disorder. In case you are having such symptoms of depression or thoughts of self-harm, please use the national suicide prevention lifeline or contact a mental health professional to seek treatment options.