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Apr 4, 2023
This blog is an excerpt from our mini-therapy on this discomfort.
what is a discomfort?
Discomfort is anything that could be stopping you from achieving what you really want to achieve. Any feeling or issue that you’re currently struggling with.
what is a mini-therapy?
A mini-therapy is hyper-personalized, bite-sized content delivered via an immersive and interactive therapy experience on the ‘being’ app. It’s designed by experienced mental health professionals and helps you work through a discomfort by using therapeutic interventions that they would use in in-person therapy.
Note: For the most optimal experience, try the mini-therapy on the ‘being’ app :’)
the excerpt:
Hi there!
Anticipation of something is often more intense than how it unfolds. When we expect something to make us really happy, or really sad, we often find that our actual experience of it is a few notches lower.
But, I suspect there’s more to your unhappiness than unrealistic expectations. You have met certain goals, and you have more money, and a better title… but it doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would. I understand that. I’ve experienced something similar - a sense of emptiness after meeting a huge goal I had set for myself.
Here’s what happens when we work focused on a goal - our body and mind enter a state of stress. You see, stress is not always negative. There is something called ‘U-stress’ or ‘positive-stress’ - it’s that sense of anxiety or nervousness before an exam or major presentation that pushes you to work harder. Even though positive stress helps you achieve your goals, it is still stress. And when you finally meet that goal, instead of the satisfaction you anticipated feeling, you end up feeling exhausted… BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD FOR SO LONG!
Before we dig deeper into your discomfort, why don’t we pause and do absolutely nothing for a moment? Close your eyes, sit back, and allow your body and mind to relax.
Mindfulness - Do Nothing Tool
Relax your feet, your knees, your thighs, and your hips. Relax your stomach and allow it to expand and shrink as you breathe in and out. Relax your shoulders, jaw, and eyebrows. Let your tongue fall off the roof of your mouth.
Let’s stay here for a few more seconds.
Now, I hear that one of your expectations from reaching this level of accomplishment at work was that your job would become less exhausting. Tell me more about this… what else did you expect at your level?
Let’s write that down.
Guided Journaling Tool
Prompt: How did you expect your work situation to change after reaching a certain compensation package or title? Think of it in terms of your role, your daily responsibilities, and your relationships with your colleagues and bosses.
Prompt: How did you expect your work success to impact your personal life, or work-life balance?
Dissatisfaction at work can seep into other areas of our life as well. After all, we do spend the majority of our waking hours at work. It is deeply connected to our well-being. If we’re not happy at work, we may feel a lull in our personal lives as well. We may not be motivated to look after our physical and emotional needs. We may stop feeling excited aboutthings that used to make us feel energized. We may feel fatigued, irritable, and cynical in general.
If despite our dissatisfaction, we have to work long hours, we might find that we have no work-life balance, and a waning desire to work on building it.
Over time, we may even find that the ambition and drive we once had slip away.
Let’s break this down to get an in-depth understanding of how your unmet expectations at work impact you on a personal level.
Guided Journaling Tool
Prompt: How is your physical self impacted by this? Do you find yourself getting more tired? Do you struggle to wake up or sleep? How’s your appetite?
Prompt: How is your emotional or psychological self impacted by this? Can you derive joy and satisfaction from other areas of life?
Prompt: How is your relational self being impacted by this? Is your work dissatisfaction impacting your relationships?
Of course, we can not separate our work self from the rest. But, we can learn to compartmentalize.
Checking out of work at a certain time, and not signing in on weekends, or before 9 or 10 am are helpful boundaries to set. Simple things like having separate spaces for work and leisure also go a long way. Another thing to do is have a ‘leaving-work ritual’. This applies if you work from home, too. Create a ritual or routine that signifies you are gettingdone for the day. This could be having a cup of tea, taking a walk, or calling a friend or family member.
I want to leave you with something to reflect on - What meaning do you ascribe to work?
Allow me to explain. Some people view work as a means of earning a living. Some see it as an application of their ability, aptitude, or intelligence. Others see it as an outlet for their passions. For you, it could be one or more of these or something else entirely. There’s no right or wrong way to look at work.
But, reflect on this - what does work mean to you? How does it enrich your life? And is your current work situation compatible with the meaning you attach to it? Finally, is the meaning you ascribe to your work realistic?
I’ll leave you with that thought.
Take care and just be! 💜