3 Things People with Social Anxiety do in Relationships

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Mar 25, 2022

✨Pov✨: Is it my partner that's giving me anxiety or is it the anxious scenarios of rejection and abandonment I cook up in my mind?

Social anxiety disorders aka social phobia (when social situations cause intense fear) can be misunderstood as being shy, uninterested, or even as being rude. People with this anxiety disorder live with an intense feeling that everyone is out to judge their every move.

Imagine what that’s like in the context of relationships.

One day everything’s great, and the next day anxiety got you feeling like there’s impending doom. The impulses that tell you your partner can reject or leave when you "mess up" or "fail".

There is then excessive worry, sometimes even panic attacks (intense anxiety that causes rapid heartbeat and breathlessness)!

Thanks to this anxiety disorder, it all amplifies when our anxious thoughts and intense fear take captive of our mental health and trigger social anxiety disorders.

These thoughts are not fleeting. They have now shaped our behavior or in other words, have turned into physical symptoms of social anxiety disorder.

Here are a few signs that can help you navigate through this anxiety disorder:

👉🏽 Obsessing over little details

You're worried about how your partner feels at the moment.

You spend hours decoding emoji usage or the absence of it.

You go down a spiral trying to figure out what your partner is implying during regular conversations.

Here's what to do instead: next time, distract yourself when the urge to read between the lines creeps in. Be honest about how these make you feel and make space to unlearn/learn ways that are healthy for both of you.

👉🏽 Holding back on communication

People with anxiety disorders (when feelings of worry and stress interfere with daily life) like social anxiety disorder can feel awkward and embarrassed especially during conversations.

There's an extreme fear of opening up or showing vulnerability that it can cause gradual chest pain or brain fog building up.

Here's an alternative: Regardless of the mental disorders, communication is key.

Want a mini-guide to help with that? Check out "I want to openly communicate with my partner but can't" on being - the world's first-of-a-kind self-therapy app!

👉🏽 Avoiding situations

Say, for example, socializing with your partner's friends or family members can feel overstimulating.

What to do?

Discuss with your partner and plan gatherings in advance so you can prepare yourself.

Give yourself a few alone-time breaks to recoup.

To wrap it up 🥰

We are the sum of our early childhood experiences and so we may experience social anxiety signs differently.

With that being said, social situations that trigger anxiety can be overcome even when it constantly makes it feel like an actual danger. There's Cognitive behavioral therapy (a tool to manage thoughts and behavior) that's highly recommended to help with that.

In the interim, there's being - check out their bite-sized guided sessions and mini therapies that are designed by mental health specialists.

Disclaimer

Self-therapy is not a substitute for professional mental health therapy. Your mental well-being conditions or mental illness (like panic attack/panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, separation anxiety disorder, and other anxiety disorders) or anxiety disorders can be overcome with the consistent guidance of a therapist.